What is the object of my faith?

Even though I know it in my head, it's so easy to "forget" it in my heart. There is an article called Object of My Affection, which is a good reminder of Who should be the object of our affection.

It's so EASY to distractedly bank my hope in people rather than Christ. People will hurt. People will disappoint. I will hurt. I will disappoint.

Hebrews 12:1b-2a:

"let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith..."

HE understands our humanness, our temptations, our trials (Heb. 2:18, 4:15).

vs. 3:

"Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted."

Ah...vs. 4's interesting:

"In your struggle against sin you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood."

Ah, ah...vs. 7:

"It is for discipline that you have to endure..."

and vs. 11:

"For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it."

I guess sometimes in order to get that 'peaceful fruit of righteousness' a little striving in tree-climbing is in order, keeping our eyes toward the 'sun'...

May that fruit be quick in coming, but even if not, may God help me run the race with my eyes fixed on Him...

Reason for the Hope, Part II (My Journey)

We can infer from Part I how even in times of doubt, we can know WHO to turn to, and we can reflect upon WHO He is and WHAT He’s done. He is faithful and sustains even when faith or trust quavers (explicitly or implicitly); He remains as the rock to which we can cling.

While I believe the ultimate reason I’m a born-again Christian is that I’ve been predestined and chosen by God (Eph. 1:11), I would like to take some time to reflect upon my personal journey of faith and explore the footprints of God’s faithfulness and sovereignty in my life.

In the beginning…

The sparks began in a conversation between a 3 year old (me) and a 29 year old (my mom). A picture in the newspaper of a burned boy was what fueled this spiritual question and answer session between my mother and I. By the end of the conversation, I knew that I wanted Christ in my life, and that I wanted to be with Him when I died. Although at this point in my life (as is evident from later things I said as a young child), I lacked an understanding of the gospel of grace and an understanding of who Jesus was, I believe that I believed in Jesus as best I knew how with my limited knowledge. (Of course I will never be able to fully grasp some of the seeming paradoxes of the faith, but over the years I have come to understand more of who God is and that salvation is by grace through faith).

What Christianity has meant to me over time…

While along with age comes an increasing sense of confidence in some areas (still heavily lacking in certain areas, though), I wonder if I had more boldness in some ways in the naivety of my younger years. For example, in high school, somehow, schoolwork at times became an outlet for the sharing of my faith. The cover of a portfolio and my “Personal Credo” (evidently explaining the cover) I did for an English class in my Junior year clearly convey the message of salvation (more in the credo, though embedded in my picture on the front cover are the words faith, love, hope, JESUS, complete with a DEAD END sign at the edge of a cliff). In that same portfolio I wrote about the role of my mom in my conversion experience and spiritual growth. My senior year of high school I wrote a paper reflecting upon my experience of the transformation of my mind through the words: That’s why Jesus died. Ah! Found a journal entry I wrote on October 26, 1996 regarding the experience:

Some time ago this swim season, I was torturing myself mentally in a swim practice. I wanted to die because of how I acted or something I did. Then a thought came to me. ‘That’s why Jesus died.’ What a neat thought – knowing that we don’t have to die for our sins but that that’s why Jesus died – so we can go to heaven. God probably gave me that thought. :) Praise God!


That’s why Jesus died…So that we don't have to face eternal punishment, He took the penalty our sin deserves upon Himself and nailed it to a cross. He rose again and is alive today. That same power who raised Jesus from the dead works in us who look to Him as the Savior of our sin. In Him we can have hope in this life and the life to come…

To be continued...

Reason for the Hope, Part I

1 Peter 3:15b: Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect,

A friend’s MySpace blog entry (posted in April of 2006) is entitled “Why do we believe in God?” In her blog, she admits that she doesn’t know why she believes in God: The truth is I don't know, I just do. And this is a friend who has a heart for and experience in missions, and might soon leave for another state to commit herself to sports ministry. In her blog she also writes: But when all is said and done...and thought out, and when it comes to the end of the night when no one else is around but me and God, there is a connection, a hope, a promise, that I cannot deny. Do I always feel that connection, believe the promise...no. But in the end, no matter what thoughts, doubts, anger, confusion I feel, I still choose to believe, God is there.

Even Psalm writers seemed to enter times of doubt. In Psalm 13:1-2, David beseeches God: How long, O LORD? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day? How long shall my enemy be exalted over me? He momentarily seems to lose hope. He turns to God. By the end of the chapter (verses 5-6), it is evident he holds fast to the hope of who God is and memory of what God has done: But I have trusted in your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation. I will sing to the LORD, because he has dealt bountifully with me. Even David questions God…and ends up clinging to hope. Asaph, another Psalm writer, began Psalm 77 mentioning his cry to God and search for the LORD in his time of trouble. He knew that God would hear him, yet he soul-searchingly questions God’s character and promises in verses 7-9: ‘Will the Lord spurn forever, and never again be favorable? Has his steadfast love forever ceased? Are his promises at an end for all time? Has God forgotten to be gracious? Has he in anger shut up his compassion?’ Then what does he end up doing? He acknowledges the invisibility of God’s footprints in the past (verse 19), yet he remembers the wonders God has done, His redemption, His leading. He remembers God’s character – His holiness, His greatness.

In Mark 9, a man whose son was possessed with an evil spirit sought Jesus in verse 22: But if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us. Notice the continuing exchange in verses 23-24:

" 'If you can'?" said Jesus. "Everything is possible for him who believes."

Immediately the boy's father exclaimed, "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!"

When believers have a hard time trusting (explicitly or implicitly), and when the feelings lack, we can still KNOW we have hope in God, and that we can ultimately trust Him. We know WHO has the power to help, WHOSE promises will not fail, WHO will never abandon us, WHO will lead us, WHO HAS led us, WHO works unfathomable wonders, and WHO has redeemed. Clinging to our faith, we can run to our holy, great God even when our trust in Him in certain circumstances falters. Temporary chinks in our trust in Him are not equivalent to a TOTAL absence of faith. Even a small amount of faith is powerful; Matthew 17:20b tells us what even a mustard seed amount of faith can do.

And what is more than our faith is the faithfulness of our God.

Marginal prayers...

In her book Discipline: the glad surrender, Elisabeth Elliot writes about the difficulties she and her husband faced with housing matters (buying, moving, renting). She describes how she and her husband came to God with the matter, and that God answered their prayers. Jumping ahead to her then current situation, she writes:

Now we find ourselves in another situation, similar, but even more complicated. Lars is away, and as I was praying alone yesterday, along the same lines we had prayed together two years ago, I picked up a Bible and "cracked" it at random. At once my eye fell on a note I had written in the margin of Psalm 18, "Praying for renter," and the date, which was within exactly a week of being two years from yesterday. "My God will lighten my darkness.... The way of God is perfect, the Lord's word has stood the test." I wrote ditto marks in the margin under "Praying for renter," with a new date. I was encouraged to trust, bringing my disobedient thoughts--that is, my doubts and fears--into captivity. (Later note: we found renters, at exactly the right time.)

It's just such a cool technique (writing her prayer and date in her Bible) of intertwining personal prayer with Bible study. A great way to claim the Word of God and remember back on what He has done.

What a beautiful, brilliant idea.

Prayer

I need to pray more, and strive in prayer. The past two Sundays, I led the Sunday School lesson for young people in a church (not mine) to substitute for the regular leaders. This last Sunday we looked at the Lord's Prayer (in Matthew 6). And just recently on "The Blazing Center" blog was a post called Expand your Prayer Life.

Once again, interesting timing...I should practice what I "lead"...

On following Christ...

Today's sermon was on following Christ, centered on Mark 1:9-20 and Mark 2:13-17. In my notes I wrote the following, which is likely what the pastor said verbatim: "You can do a lot of 'following' Jesus without really following Him." He talked about following as being different from just hanging around at a distance. I think he gave an example of a child getting as far away as possible, yet still within eyesight, from the parent. In my own world, I think of my cat...she's frequently 'hanging around' me, often in the same room as me (granted...there aren't many room options :) ), but she's not constantly sidling up to me (although that is a common behavior, it's not constant). Another point the pastor made was that "if you haven't 'left', you haven't 'followed'." Mark 1:18 talks about Simon and Andrew immediately leaving their nets to follow...

Currently I'm reading the book Discipline: The glad surrender, by Elisabeth Elliot. The following is an excerpt from this book (p. 23):

Riding on a New York bus recently, I saw a woman reach over and slide open a small section of a window. The bus was very crowded, and I was glad for a little fresh air. The window was angrily slammed shut by another woman.
"It's not really cold out," said the first. "Can't we have a little air?"
"Not on my back you can't," came the reply, a perfectly natural one.
The disciple, however, lives by a different rule, a rule not natural to anyone who is a sinner. He will let himself be "lost." It is the great principle of the cross that he takes up--out of his own loss comes another's gain, out of his discomfort another's comfort. How easily we profess a willingness to follow, imagining some notable work for God, some great martyrdom--but forget the first condition the minute there is a little cold air on the back of the neck.

(Earlier she mentions the first condition as being that "he must leave self behind" (p.23)

The God who listens and responds...

So I met with my friend today to discuss Scripture. It's great for accountability as well as fellowship and discussion. She brought up the passage in Genesis 19, where Lot and his family escape from Sodom.

vs. 15-16 (ESV, boldness added):

As morning dawned, the angels urged Lot, saying, "Up! Take your wife and your two daughters who are here, lest you be swept away in the punishment of the city." But he lingered. So the men seized him and his wife and his two daughters by the hand, the LORD being merciful to him, and they brought him out and set him outside the city.

Lot lingered. He didn't leave right away. He and his family were seized by the mercy of God. Probably I'm often unaware to God seizing me by His mercy and steering me toward the way in which I should walk. It's nice to know that His mercy doesn't hinge upon our efforts. While we should strive to bring God glory through our actions and thoughts, it is refreshing to know that God is greater than us and by His power we can be picked up and carried or 'seized' when we 'linger'...

And prayer can work wonders. Yes, God is sovereign, but somehow our prayers are not in vain. In Gen. 18, Abraham conversed with God. He asks God if he would destroy the city even if there are 50 righteous...45 righteous...40 righteous...30 righteous...20 righteous...then down to TEN. Seems Abraham tried to negotiate (from a human perspective) with God. Back and forth the conversation went. But maybe His prayer was used in the plan to save Lot and his daughters.

Gen. 19:29a:

So it was that, when God destroyed the cities of the valley, God remembered Abraham and sent Lot out of the midst of the overthrow [...]

Even if prayer wasn't part of the deliverance plan there, elsewhere in Genesis the power of prayer is obvious.

Gen. 20:17a says: "Then Abraham prayed to God, and God healed Abimelech". In Gen. 24, with the "Rebekah Retrieval", even before the servant finished praying for a woman for Isaac, sure enough, Rebekah popped up in the very way he requested. In Gen. 25, Isaac prayed for his wife because she was unable to get pregnant. "And the LORD granted his prayer" (vs. 21). God listens. Gen. 30:22: "Then God remembered Rachel, and God listened to her and opened her womb." Not sure if Rachel prayed about it, but somehow, He listened. In Gen. 21, He listened to Hagar's son Ishamael's voice (not sure if it was a technical 'prayer'...), and the angel of God asks Hagar what troubles her and says God heard the boy. Hagar is told her son will be made "into a great nation" (vs. 18). God remembered. Truly, as Hagar once said, God is "a God of seeing" (16:13).

God listens, sees, remembers, and mercifully seizes.

Awesome!

Psalm 50

I didn't take notes, but I think this was the Psalm through which the same person who led last week's talk led us...anyway, without further ado, here are some Psalm 50 chunks (ESV)...

Not for your sacrifices do I rebuke you; your burnt offerings are continually before me. (vs. 8)

Offer to God a sacrifice of thanksgiving, and perform your vows to the Most High, and call upon me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you shall glorify me.' But to the wicked God says: 'What right have you to recite my statutes or take my covenant on your lips? For you hate discipline, and you cast my words behind you.(vs. 14-17)

'Mark this, then, you who forget God, lest I tear you apart, and there be none to deliver! The one who offers thanksgiving as his sacrifice glorifies me; to one who orders his way rightly I will show the salvation of God!' (vs. 22-23)

Once again, interesting timing.

Eyes wide open...

So an ex-classmate used to have the following Lisel Salzer (artist) quote on her facebook profile:

I consider myself very lucky to be a painter. I think, if I think of all the poor people who labor all week until they have a weekend to enjoy themselves and a painter enjoys himself every day whatever they do because it's not just while we paint that we enjoy ourselves it's looking and observing becomes so much part of it, whatever we do we kind of paint, don't you know, even if we don't put it down on paper, if we look at a human face, it's interesting, if we look at a flower, if we look at a house, at a scene, at the tree, at a dog at a cat, at anything.

While I don't literally have a painter's eye, I do want to employ a sort-of 'open eye' approach to life. Noticing happenings and timings through an eternal lens transforms the mundane into something glorious.

The orchestration of our life details is much more awesome (see definition #1) when we open our eyes to the wonders of God.

Awakening in Wonder

Genesis 28:16-17 (ESV):

Then Jacob awoke from his sleep and said, 'Surely the LORD is in this place, and I did not know it.' And he was afraid and said, 'How awesome is this place! This is none other than the house of God, and this is the gate of heaven.'

Oh my goodness, another timing thing??

I hope God is the one giving me this frequent sense of awe. Yet ANOTHER timing thing. Am I reading into things too much? So I'm just now at this part of the book "Let the Nations be Glad: The Supremacy of God in Missions" by John Piper:

"The word for 'fight' in 1 Timothy (agonizesthai from which we get "agonize") is used repeatedly in describing the Christian life. Jesus said, "Strive to enter by the narrow door; for many, I tell you, will seek to enter and will not be able" (Luke 13:24). Hebrews 4:11 says, 'Let us therefore strive to enter that rest, that no one fall by the same sort of disobedience." Paul compares the Christian life to a race and says, "Every athlete strives and uses self-control in all things. They do it to obtain a perishable crown, but we do it to obtain an imperishable one" (1 Corinthians 9:25). He describes his ministry of proclamation and teaching in these terms: "For this I toil, striving with all the energy which he mightily inspires within me" (Colossians 1:29). And he says that prayer is part of this fight: "Epaphras, a servant of Christ and one of your own, greets you, always striving on your behalf in prayers" (Colossians 4:12). "Strive with me in your prayers on my behalf to God" (Romans 15:30). It's the same word each time: the word for 'fight.'" (p. 42-43)

And just tonight in Bible study we discussed Hebrews 3-4:13 (notice the above reference to Heb. 4:11)...

May we strive for rest and learn to strive in prayer...

The Long Defeat

by Sara Groves:

[...]
and i pray for an idea
and a way i cannot see
it's too heavy to carry
and impossible to leave
[...]

chorus

we walk a while we sit and rest
we lay it on the altar
i won't pretend to know what's next
but what i have i've offered

and i pray for a vision
and a way i cannot see
it's too heavy to carry
and impossible to leave

and i pray for inspiration
and a way i cannot see
it's too heavy to carry
and impossible to leave
it's too heavy to carry
and i will never leave

When the Saints

by Sara Groves:

lord i have a heavy burden of all i've seen and know
it's more than i can handle
but your word is burning like a fire shut up in my bones
and i can’t let it go

and when i'm weary and overwrought
with so many battles left unfought

i think of paul and silas in the prison yard
i hear their song of freedom rising to the stars

and when the Saints go marching in
i want to be one of them

lord it's all that i can't carry and cannot leave behind
it all can overwhelm me
but when i think of all who've gone before and lived a faithful life
their courage compels me

and when i'm weary and overwrought
with so many battles left unfought

i think of paul and silas in the prison yard
i hear their song of freedom rising to the stars
i see the shepherd moses in the pharaohs court
i hear his call for freedom for the people of the Lord

chorus x2

i see the long quiet walk along the underground railroad
i see the slave awakening to the value of her soul
i see the young missionary and the angry spear
i see his family returning with no trace of fear
i see the long hard shadows of calcutta nights
i see the sister standing by the dying man’s side
i see the young girl huddled on the brothel floor
i see the man with a passion come kicking down that door

i see the man of sorrow and his long troubled road
i see the world on his shoulders and my easy load

chorus

Secret Service 101

I recently learned of this quote by Ronald Reagan:"There is no limit to what you can accomplish if you don't care who gets the credit."

We don't need to be "leaders" to lead...official roles, titles, and designated tasks need not always be precursors to accomplishment.

And from my sermon notes today, which was probably a direct quote from the person who spoke: "Do you rejoice when God works in the lives of others, even when it hurts you personally?"

Interesting.

May we echo John the Baptist's line: "He must increase, but I must decrease" (John 3:30).

P.S. Psalm 77 - What timing!

So I just blogged about Psalm 77, inspired by a talk given on the Psalm just tonight. And later tonight I continued my reading of (How can I change?: Victory in the struggle against sin)and...guess what! There is a box in the book that says:

"Take a minute or two to read Psalm
77 and then answer the following
questions:

• How is the psalmist’s heart out
of tune (v.2,4,7-9)?

• How does he deal with his doubts
(vv.10-12)?

• How does worship change his view of
God (vv.13-20)?"

Once again, interesting timing! Why do I keep noticing these timing things?

Thank you God! Okay, back to that book...

Psalm 77

Tonight's message at a Christian fellowship group was on Psalm 77. This is a wonderful Psalm!

It starts with: "I cry aloud to God, aloud to God, and he will hear me. In the day of my trouble I seek the Lord;..."

In Asaph's (the author of this Psalm) experience, it's not like things are all of a sudden hunky dory: "When I remember God, I moan; when I meditate, my spirit faints." Clearly he went to God in the day of his trouble.

Then he pondered. Considered "the days of old, the years long ago" (vs. 5). In vs. 6 he said, " 'Let me remember my song in the night; let me meditate in my heart.'" What was his song? What can be ours?

His "spirit made a diligent search" (vs. 6). His spirit seemed to momentarily question God's goodness: "Will the Lord spurn forever, and never again be favorable? Has his steadfast love forever ceased? Are his promises at an end for all time? Has God forgotten to be gracious? Has he in anger shut up his compassion?" (vs. 7-9)

But then comes vs. 11.

He WILL REMEMBER what God has done. His "wonders of old" (vs. 11).
He WILL PONDER God's work.
He WILL MEDITATE on His "mighty deeds" (vs. 12).

Then comes reflection upon God's character along with His works.

God's HOLINESS (vs. 13).
God's GREATNESS (vs. 13).
He performs WONDERS and has revealed His MIGHT (vs. 14).
He was the REDEEMER for His people (vs. 15).
In spite of His might, His "footprints were unseen" (vs. 19).
He LED His people (vs. 20).

So Asapah went to God with a troubled heart. And he meditated and soul-searched. Questioned God's character and promises. Then He remembered. Remembered who God was and the wonders He's done. He's redeemed and led his people.

Surely He redeems, leads, and works mighty wonders again today, even when the footprints are seemingly invisible.

Daily Community

Last night at AWANA, when looking over a girl's answers to the questions in her book, I noticed that she wrote "every day" in answer to a question that asked something about how often the believers met, according to Acts 2. I had to look that one up and check...did they really meet every day? Sure enough, I found she was right! According to Acts 2:46-47 (NIV), "Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved."

In the ESV, the phrase "day by day" is used instead of "every day". I'm not sure if the original Greek exactly meant "every day", but in any case it seems the believers at least met quite frequently!

And notice the attitudes present..."glad and generous hearts"..."praising God"..."having favor with all the people"....

Beautiful.

God has His reasons...

I'm currently reading the book How can I change?: Victory in the struggle against sin, and one chapter references Deuteronomy 8:2-3. Here are the verses in the ESV translation:

And you shall remember the whole way that the LORD your God has led you these forty years in the wilderness, that he might humble you, testing you to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep his commandments or not. And he humbled you and let you hunger and fed you with manna, which you did not know, nor did your fathers know, that he might make you know that man does not live by bread alone, but man lives by every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD.

(boldness added)

Freedom Writers

Just recently saw Freedom Writers and loved it. It's based on a true story about a class that was transformed through a teacher's unconventional methods at bringing the students together and allowing them the chance to express themselves through writing. It's based on The Freedom Writers Diary. Inspirational!