Helicopter Seeds

Here are some excerpts from Helicopter Seeds, by George Halitzka:

I listened a lot and tried bring God into the discussions.

Even now, those moments of conversation sparkle like a firework in my mind. I went home feeling I'd "made a difference." But they were so brief: a bright flash for 20 minutes on a single day; fizzling like a spent sparkler and even now probably gone from the teens' memories.

[...] I have nothing to show for those moments except bittersweet memories of young wounded souls from Cleveland. Did I accomplish anything on the Saturdays I sacrificed?

Meaningless, meaningless, everything is meaningless, proclaims the Philosopher. A chasing after the wind.

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But what did that mean: that I entertained him or God worked in his life?

[...] Perhaps it's ultimately not about the lone teenager in the room who might change or the shards of meaning I'm trying to find in life. Perhaps what I do is an offering to the God who made every moment and places me inside the ones He chooses. Perhaps it's wrong to seek "results." But doesn't the Bible say to look for "fruit" from ministry?

Perhaps it's all a chasing after the wind.

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[...]in this moment the Helicopter Seeds are so, so beautiful.

Perhaps it doesn't matter that so many will never grow. Perhaps it is enough to see them fulfill a divine purpose. Perhaps the beauty is enough to make this breathless moment is its own reward. I even dare to imagine that maybe the seeds fall so I, and the God who made them, can be lost in childlike wonder again.

Or perhaps ... they fall for nothing. But as I reluctantly turn from the edge of beauty and walk towards my car, I try not to believe that.

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The fruit we hope for may never come. But perhaps just being in His plan and seeing the beauty of how He might be working should be enough. Just the wonder itself might be the 'fruit'...

I'm amazed by the various brief seemingly slightly spiritual interactions I've had with co-workers and students this quarter...And as for "ministry" -- it's exciting that a woman we (=some church people) met when passing out meals at a motel came to church on Sunday.

But...did God use those interactions to plant any seeds that draw them any closer to a saving faith? Is that woman who came to church drawn any closer to God through her church experience or any of her interactions with us? Maybe yes; maybe no.

But it's so beautiful to see how God might be working through these things to bring them into a relationship with Himself. And if He's not? Well...maybe He's drawing me closer to Him in the process...